Expectation vs Reality by M Clark | ENTRY 1
Eu tive o privilégio de poder escrever aqui no blog da Campo, ser convidada por essa mulher incrível, mulher gente!!!! Mas isso me tirou por um momento o chão. No sentido de que estou tão acostumada com a mesma rotina que ao mesmo tempo que senti alegria e gratidão por ser convidada a dividir um pouco minhas ideias , me encontrei ansiosa e sem ideias. Rs como isso pode acontecer?
Isso me fez pensar e agir, contra os sentimentos que me fizeram ficar e perder as ideias. Ele queria estacionar minha ideias para outro vez, talvez para outra oportunidade. Mas eu disse - No No No!!
Durante essa pandemia alguns sentimentos se afloraram e graças a muitos blogs e e Instagram de boas palavras eu consegui ir me equilibrando quase com uma sensação “bebada”, mas dessa vez “bebada” de emoções, horas felizes , horas tristes e confusas, chateadas, magoadas, depressivas, felizes de novo e num vai e vem. O que é isso que vivemos? será que porque somos mulheres, cheias de hormônios e de responsabilidades. No meu caso, filhos , marido , cachorro…… como diz no livro da ex diretora do Facebook. Assumimos tanto né?! Olha só, estou aqui tentando escrever para o blog enquanto chegamos num pic nic da escola no mais velho. O mais engraçado que tentei não me envolver muito no que tínhamos que trazer para o Pic Nic , mas sinalizei para o marido, hora de ir.Coloca tudo no carro. E assim respeitei meu momento e fiquei nas minhas novas descobertas, no desenvolvimento da ideia para escrever, concentrada na minha câmera que eu precisava revisar para um trabalho de fotografia para o dia seguinte.
Entramos no carro, marido e filho adolescente entraram minutos depois de mim. E aí falei? Não vamos colocar nada na cooler para comer ou beber no Pic Nic? Não vamos passar no mercado?! Como percebi que já havíamos passado da entrada do mercado, facilitei e falei, no próximo farol tem uma loja de conveniaria, acho que podemos resolver lá com coisas mais simples. E assim continuamos para o Pic Nic, adolescente no carro ansioso para encontrar os amigos, eu ansiosa em continuar a escrever estava fluindo. E conhecer os novos pais, marido dirigindo.
E assim descemos do carro abrimos o porta-malas ….marido retira a cooler e eu pergunto:- onde estão as cadeiras? Ele me fala que cadeiras? Eu eu respondo: - onde vamos sentar? Ele fala, tentando ter razão - no chão, e eu então disse- você trouxe o cobertor de chão?
No fim porque eu resolvi deixar por conta acabei sentada no meu livro de capa dura no chão na humida grama….. fingindo estar super confortável para os pais que estavam em suas cadeiras e o Marido - teve que voltar em casa para pegar as cadeiras que esqueceu! Rs
M Clark
Expectation vs Reality
I had the privilege of being able to write here on Campo's blog, to be invited by this amazing woman, woman people!!!! But that took away my grounding for a moment. In the sense that while I am so used to the same routine, I felt joy and gratitude for being invited to share my ideas a little, I found myself anxious and without ideas. Lol how can this happen?
This is certainly because the brain tricks us, becomes insecure and wants to stay in the same place. I had a creativity teacher who said that our brain is very smart and lazy, It likes to deceive us, so as not to learn new things, so as not to take risks. Mine realized that my ideas would be exposed, my ideas, to an audience I don't know, and then thinking what will they think of me?
It made me think and act, against the feelings that made me stay and lose my mind. It wanted to hold my ideas for another time, maybe for another opportunity. But I said - No No No!!
During this pandemic some feelings surfaced and thanks to many blogs and Instagrams of good words I managed to balance myself almost with a "drunk" feeling, but this time "drunk" with emotions, happy hours, sad and confused hours, upset, hurt , depressed, happy again and not coming and going. What is it that we live? is it because we are women, full of hormones and responsibilities. In my case, children, husband, dog…… as it says in the former Facebook director's book. We assume so much right?! Look, I'm here trying to write for the blog as we arrive at a school picnic for my oldest. The funniest thing I tried not to get too involved in what we had to bring to the Pic Nic, but I signaled to my husband, time to go. Put everything in the car. And so I respected my moment and stayed with my new discoveries, developing the idea for writing, concentrating on my camera that I needed to revise for a photo assignment for the next day.
We got into the car, husband and teenage son got in minutes after me. And then I said? Aren't we going to put anything in the cooler to eat or drink at the Pic Nic? Aren't we going to stop by the market?! As I realized that we were already past the entrance to the market, I made it easy and said, in the next light there is a convenience store, I think we can figure it out there. And so we continued on to the Pic Nic, teenager in the car eager to meet friends, I eager to continue writing, as it was flowing. And meeting new parents, husband driving.
And so we get out of the car and open the trunk….husband removes the cooler and I ask:- where are the chairs? He tells me which chairs? I answer: - where are we going to sit? He speaks, trying to be right - on the floor, and I then say - did you bring the floor blanket?
In the end because I decided to leave it alone I ended up sitting on my hardcover book on the floor in the wet grass….. pretending to be super comfortable for the parents who were in their chairs and Husband - had to go back home to get the chairs that he forgot! Kk
M Clark
